Heart beating fast and horror filling his very essence delivered by the fear projected by his own mind and nothing else. Harian, because of the situation he now found himself in, stood silent staring at his father unable to utter another word. Thought after thought punished him over and over. Round and around relentlessly, seemingly never ending, as any situation where fear was concerned presented to the sufferer that it would never pass. Consumed by it. Paralysed by it. Controlling his very being, even down to the breaths he took. Slow and sharp as though he didn’t want anyone within the room to realise how he was breathing in case he gave anything away.
Waiting for the door to swing open again as it had shut behind his father as he had walked through it. Open, but this time for soldiers to appear, many of them to remove him. Arrest him and take him back to the hellhole he had escaped from in chains.
‘Would my father do this to me’ he questioned? ‘Would my aunt do this to me knowingly keeping me talking and listening to give his father time to get there with the soldiers’? And what about the General, was he also in on it – was he the instigator of this? ‘What should I do? Run, stay and try to reason with them all or just submit to the fact and the situation and make it easy on myself, well easier?
His heart was beating even faster now as this torrent of mental abuse in thought form battered him. Knocked him from side to side up and down and in every which way it could.
He had no defence against this and could not prevent it from happening. The nightmare that was the reality he was faced with now really did seem like it would never end. All suggested to him by his own mind and nothing else. As he watched the events of the next few moments unfold, his confusion became even more compounded.
Harian’s father Amen stood and shook the dust from his robes and then removed them, placing them on the back of a chair at the table. As he did this Sarim stood with a smile lighting up his face and made his way towards Amen with his arms outstretched saying.
“Amen my old friend, it has been far too long.”
Harian’s father looked at the approaching General and greeted him with the same gesture, smiling as he did.
“Sarim, my old friend.”
And as the pair embraced they hugged and chuckled as they held each over tightly showing the feelings of friendship they felt for one another.
Harian, to say the least, was speechless and could not utter a word even if he wanted too. All the fears his mind was projecting were now manifesting in front of his own eyes, only compounding what his mind wanted him to believe. The torture continuing as he struggled mentally, trying to think of a way to escape this situation as presumption ruled relentlessly.
Then his aunt Isabel moved towards the two men and stood patiently waiting to embrace her brother saying.
“Brother, it is so good to see you.”
Amen left the General’s embrace to grasp his sister and show her the love he felt for her and to demonstrate the fact that he too, had also missed her deeply.
“Oh how good it is to feel you in my arms.” Amen could not contain himself. “I have missed you so much.”
And as he said this, his eyes flicked over to where his panic stricken son stood watching. Amen could see the confusion and the pain his boy was in and the floodgates opened. Leaving his sister’s embrace, sobbing quite openly, Amen made his way around the table towards his apprehensive son who was frozen to the spot.
As Amen reached Harian and flung his arms around his son, crying uncontrollably, Harian stood as a statue not knowing how to react. He had never seen his father act this way. Always he seemed cold and un-caring almost callous and never had he displayed such emotions towards him.
But as Harian felt the tightness of his father’s grip upon him and his body jerking from the uncontrollable sobbing. And even though his mind was repeating over and over; flee flee. He felt himself react to the situation. He too started to hug his father and the more he did, the tighter he held him and he to could feel the tears starting to come.
This overwhelming demonstration of love that a father and son were showing was too much for Isabel and a tear started to gently track down her face. She put out her left hand to find Sarim’s. As she did she gripped it firmly and turned to look at the man she loved. He was also showing the effects of what this pure emotion on display was so powerfully doing and he too had watery eyes.
As this was happening Amen released his grip somewhat from his son and stood holding his upper arms. Looking at him, still weeping and through bated breath Amen spoke to his boy.
“Look at you my son, you are a man now and what a fine man you have become and I am sorry my son, I am so sorry.”
Then his head went down and the tears flowed again relentlessly. And this time, even though he was still in a mass of confusion, Harian pulled his father close. They hugged, both weeping and holding each other to try and ease the emotional pain they both felt. A pain, which was it seemed, very much needed to be felt by all parties concerned.
Sometime had passed and they all now sat at the table except Isabel who was at the fire making tea.
Harian sat next to his father Amen who was opposite Sarim and Amen was holding his son’s hand and was still quite emotional.
Moments later Isabel delivered the freshly brewed tea to the table and took her place beside Sarim.
Harian had resided himself to the fact that this situation was not as he had first presumed from the thoughts running amok through his mind and something quite unusual was occurring. Even though he had no idea of what it was to be. Satisfied with this, he was prepared to sit and listen to what his father had to say. Also he could not help being just a little astounded at the way his father had acted. To a point, he really did want to explore this far deeper.
He realised now that his fathers presence was not one that was to cause him any harm. Even though the presumption had been – in his thoughts that is – that this was the case. In some ways the previous conversations that had took place all that morning with his aunt and the General, were adding weight to this logic. He could see that his father was generally upset and this was in no way put on. In some ways Harian was annoyed at himself for presuming anything was untoward in the first place. But at the same time, through the help offered by his aunt and the General, he could see where these fears that led to the presumption resided. In doing this, Harian saw absolute evidence of how the mind will presume the exact opposite of what was actually occurring. Because it knows nothing of the affairs of the heart and can offer nothing but the reverse of them when they come into play.
Sat quietly contemplating all this he sensed a warmth inside as he felt how tightly his father gripped his hand. In what would seem an attempt by his father to start to correct the way that Harian viewed the way he felt about him.
Even though Harian felt this assumption was a little rash, it did feel right regarding the coldness that his father had shown towards him for such a prolonged time. Well he thought it did any way. This was something that Harian had wanted to explore, but was never sure how he should approach the subject, never quite knowing where to start. His father had acted very childish at times, which always made approaching him with delicate subjects very hard.
Above all else, one thing Harian was plainly witnessing was, even though his father was still quite over come with emotion and his aunt was still reeling from the show of emotion from both the both of them. Everyone including himself were sat silently smiling. Even though the tears still fell from his father’s eyes, a smile was present upon his mouth and more importantly within his eye’s shining through every tear that dropped. The once very present thoughts of escaping this situation and the fear that had enveloped Harian, was now dissipating and in return warmth ran through his very being.
Still an element of insecurity was present within his mind, but nowhere near was it to the extent it had been. Harian had resided himself to the very evident fact that his fathers presence was for a good reason. Even though at this time Harian was not sure why his father was here with them. One thing he felt he knew was another very simple but important fact, he was certainly about to find out.
After sometime sat in silence Isabel spoke and as she did she turned to look at Sarim and once again placed her left hand in his.
“Well my dear I feel our presence it not needed at this moment as a father and son have much to discuss. Would you care to join me for a walk?
Isabel said this smiling as she did and continued with.
“Are you up to it old boy?”
Sarim – eyes smiling as well as his mouth – quipped.
“Less of the old and yes I would love to join you.”
With this Isabel smiled and they both rose from the table. Before leaving Isabel walked around the table to where her nephew was sitting and bent down to whisper something in Harian’s ear.
“I know much has happened between you and your father, but please my boy listen to what he has to tell you and allow him to explain himself entirely. I promise you, you have much to gain from this and this is between you two and what is to be said is for your ears only.”
As Isabel said this she put her right hand upon Harian’s shoulder to enhance what she was saying again using the power of touch. As always, to highlight the importance of what she was saying.
Harian turned slightly and kissed his aunt on the cheek to establish to her that he understood fully and would do as she had asked. After all as a child he always longed to please his aunt and in adulthood that had not changed.
With this Isabel smiled lifted her hand and cupped Harian’s face to express her feelings. Then she walked back round the table to join Sarim who stood with out stretched hand. Isabel took Sarim’s hand and the pair made their way towards the door and exited through it, to leave the Amen and Harian to talk over all that needed to be discussed.
As the door shut behind them Amen turned to Harian and as he did so he took his sons right hand I his left hand. Harian could see that his father’s tears had stopped, but he looked very remorseful and this hurt Harian. He had never seen his father this way and in truth did not like seeing his father carry such a burden that was causing this. But he also realised that this was something only his father could release himself from. In truth he did not fully understand why he knew this, but accepted he did without question – as he accepted many things now that he previously wouldn’t have.
His aunt and the General had allowed him to view life through real eyes and in doing so his perspectives had changed dramatically. A change on all accounts that was, as it seemed permanent, because if it wasn’t, he would not be sat with his father now. He would not have given him the time of day without being ordered to do so, up until this point. And even though what Isabel had said could be construed as an order, it was as Harian realised more of a request. Which with respect Harian knew was a polite way of ordering, but he knew his aunts intent was pure and certainly for the right reasons. And because of the change in him, a request he was now prepared to honour.
Amen began to speak with a voice that was soft and calm, but at the same time Harian could still detect emotion present within it.
“My son I have so much to tell you and all I ask is that you hear me out. Once you have listened to what I have to say, what you decide to do from that point on is solely your decision, neither your aunt, Sarim nor myself will try to coerce you to do anything that you do not want to do.
The time for truth is upon us and is significant for future events to occur, as they must. And even if the decision is not correct today it will be at sometime, as things can only be one way. I know that might sound like a riddle now, but please appreciate my dear son that it will all make sense soon.”
Harian sat listening, but said nothing. He appreciated that most of what his aunt and the General had told him at first seemed in riddle form. But he now realised that within the riddle was a metaphor that highlighted the duality needed to appreciate the meaning of the message – an allegory that seemed to exist behind every spoken word. Almost every riddle was in story form and presented the morality being spoken of.
He now realised that in most of what his aunt and the General had told him, they were highlighting the duplicity regarding what they had done and said. He now realised they were playing morality off of duplicity, using the duplicity to highlight morality to bring about a simple understanding that resulted in the essence of right and wrong being displayed. Displayed in full view and in a way it could not be ignored. In essence what he realised more than anything else was that the being – the true us – was bound by a moral code that could not be corrupted. And even by changing the very meanings of words, this still did not achieve corruption of moral elements when being viewed with real eyes.
The mind on the other hand lived in the world of duplicity. It was dishonest, fraudulent, disloyal and above all deceptive the ultimate ‘illusionist’ trying by all accounts to prevent morality being present within us. Living in a world not bound by moral boundaries, but bound by duplicity and all that prevails from this syndrome, this illness; an intricate disorder that ruled our lives and those of others around us. In essence a sickness of the mind that revolved simply around greed and selfishness. The needs of the one wade off against the needs of the many. Only ever concerned with what it could gain and not what it could give.
In essence none of this was new to Harian by a long shot, as he had always seen simple right from wrong and that is why he fell out of favour with so many. The only difference now being he was aware of this now and knew why. This is what his aunt and the General through the stories of their experiences had delivered. Through them allowing him to explore his own in depth and with a clarity he did not realise he possessed. A clarity that revolved around simplicity and was best spoke of in story form and the art of explaining duality within a story – being able to highlight what needs to be. To bring about simple understanding that is already entrenched in us that we are unaware of.
Amen spoke again after a long pause as he could see his son was not with him at that moment and quite expected this to happen, many times during the time they were to spend alone together.
“I cannot tell you how good it is to see you my boy, I have missed you so much.”
As Amen said this he gripped his sons hand even tighter.
“I have missed you too dad, more than you could possibly imagine and for the longest time. Even in your presence I did not feel I was with you, but with a monster you were playing at being and I cannot lie to you, that hurt deeply.”
As Harian said this, the tears once again fell from Amen’s eyes and his head went down in shame.
Harian took his free hand and placed it gently under his dad’s chin and softly lifted his dad’s head so their eyes met.
Then he spoke.
“I want to be honest with you dad, but it is going to hurt. It seems the truth of what we have become always hurts when realised, but not for good reason. Especially when we are in such a position we cannot ignore it, or turn away from it. I feel for you having to hear what I have to say to you, but nonetheless it must be said once and for all and then it can be forgotten for good.”
Harian was smiling at his dad in a very caring way and this, along with his son’s words, opened the floodgates again. Harian, in some ways was shocked by this show of emotion and had been from the time his father became emotional. But he realised that everyone can change. He had been witness to the changes his aunt and the General had gone through and more recently himself from the conversations this very morning.
Settling himself again and composing himself Amen spoke, even though at first it was through baited breath.
“You called me dad. I have waited so long to hear you say that. You could not possibly know what it means to me to hear that word leave your mouth.”
“But that is all I have ever wanted you to be.” Said Harian
“In essence I was being.” Explained his dad. “Even though I will have to explain to you why I feel I was being.
I know on the surface it doesn’t seem that way. Some of the decisions I made regarding you and the company I was keeping and the effects of this upon you and your mother, did seem very selfish and extreme at times. But this day I will explain why I did what I did and for what ends and in a way you fully appreciate why such things occurred. That is if you give me the opportunity to explain?”
Harian’s mind came in to play for a moment and tried to divert the situation to one where Harian could display his anger towards his father for past events. But Harian was aware of this and committed the thoughts to having no relevance and quietly put them to one side. He wanted to listen to his dad and see him as this and not a disciplinary father figure, which he had seen all his life.
The duality of the situation started to come into play and Harian realised that he had to put all thoughts regarding past events to one side and offer his father amnesty. He had to allow his father to explain why he had been a father for so long, especially when all Harian needed was a dad – something he felt all sons in his position craved.
It was obvious that his dad realised the difference, by what he had said and the way he had said it, but still Harian’s mind wanted so much for his reaction to be different. Again these thoughts were put to one side as Harian refused to put on the mask his mind was trying to get him to wear, even though it was being quite persuasive and persistent.
His dad cleared his throat quietly as though he did not want Harian to realise what he was doing and prepared to speak.
Again Harian saw this as being suspicious, well at least his mind suggested it was. It was suggesting that his dad was doing this because he was about to real off a preconceived formulated speech that he had rehearsed for the long time. But in truth and in essence Harian knew in his heart that this was not the case. He could see that his dad was nervous, upset and simply not as he had ever viewed him on any occasion. The difference in the man sat before him was unmistakable. The difference from what he once was, to what he had become now.
Amen began to speak….
“Dear son of mine.” Amen said this with a beautiful calmness to his voice that instantly quelled any misguided thoughts Harian was having regarding his dads intentions.
“I know how you view me and my actions over the years. I know that you view what I did as very wrong and to some extent it was. But everything happens because of reasons and it those reasons we sometimes have to explain to allow our actions to been seen differently – or at least in a way that provides evidence relating to what our true intent maybe. I am sure you are aware that even though are actions are on occasions deemed to be at fault, it is in fact the intent behind those actions that needs to be recognised. And if the intent is pure then this allows for the actions to be acceptable.”
Harian was studying his dad as he was speaking and although much of this was said with his head down, Harian realised that what his dad was saying was the truth and along the same lines as to what the general and his aunt had been explaining to him previously. Simply because he could not deny it, which seems to be what truth can be measured from. This is what he had realised more than anything from all that had been said.
Harian stretched out his left hand and touched his dads face gently, in an attempt to reassure him. And as he did, his dad lifted his head and turned to his right to look at his son who was smiling at him, with a warm welcoming smile. Amen then smiled to and continued.
“Please remember my son that what I have to say in many ways is very painful for me to say, as you have just suggested. The truth of what we have done and become can be and is seen as, the ugly truth. Something that is very painful to view and is something we will do anything not to view or to admit too. If at times I relapse and put my head down, it is because of the shame I carry and the pain that brings, when remembering that shame. Please understand that I am only a being playing a role acting human, something many of us never quite master and for some, as you, this never comes into the equation. But for others like myself, we believe we are the masks we adjourn and as time goes by the masks become harder to take off or put down. All I will say in my defence is that the intent I started out with has never wavered nor has it ever changed. I was and still am true to that intent and what that intent amounts too.”
Harian said nothing, but smiled the kindest smile to illuminate the fact he understood fully and was prepared to remain silent for now and allow his dad to speak.
Amen understood this and knew his son would here him out and also realised he would not have to explain everything for there had been a change in his son, he was aware of now and this he felt was down to his sister and his dearest friend Sarim.
“Harian what I am about to tell you will be hard for you to accept, as hard as it will be for me to tell you in some respects, but also on many levels I have longed to tell you this information. And with the greatest respect, most of what I have to say to you is information that you now need to be aware of. This in no way dismisses my actions towards you over the years, but at least it will help you comprehend why certain things happened and certain things were said.”
Without saying a word Harian nodded his head slightly to indicate that he understood fully. Harian now knew more than ever before that this was not a time for questions; this most certainly was a time to listen.
Amen again continued….
“I know that you have been here for sometime now and I actually saw you arrive and I also know that you have spent many hours listening to your aunt and Sarim. Please know Harian that I love my sister more than you could imagine and on a different level I love Sarim the same amount. Sarim and I have been friends, almost like brothers for the longest time. I know they would have helped you come to a greater understanding about life and certain aspects of it. I know that this has occurred because you are now sat listening to me, a man you thought didn’t care for you at all. Instead of rejecting me as you thought I had you and who could blame you because it certainly seemed that way and in many respects it was – you are now sat listening to me. Many times I have thanked my dearest friend and your aunt for things they have done on my behalf – and yours – and again I owe them a debt of gratitude for this. To be honest son this is the long and the short of it in the easiest way I can explain it.
Your grand parents were part of an order and I am sure your aunt and Sarim have talked of this order.”
Harian again nodded to confirm this.
“I was born into that order and so was your aunt Isabel, even though it was kept from her for a long time. That is why she could not understand why I forced you into the army and boy did we have a row about that one. Your aunt can be very forceful when she sets her mind to it, but it was – well on my behalf anyway – always for the right reasons and now more than ever it is most certainly for the right reasons. Her intent never changes and you know she loves you more than you could ever imagine.”
Harian again nodded to show he understood and agreed and smiled to enforce this.
“I am sure I have no need to explain to you why this order was formed and it’s simple intentions, as I am sure your aunt and Sarim have done this already. Maybe not fully, but at least you have a understanding of this.”
Harian spoke to reply.
“I do dad, but I would like know more, but in saying that I know now if I need to know more I will be told when it is right for me to know.”
Amen stayed silent for a moment quite taken a back by what his son had just said. His son’s manor was such that it pleased Amen so, to see how far Harian had come. To see he already appreciated the art of surrendering control, to want to question, but to have the ability to deny the questioning. To not chase the answers, but wait patiently for the answers sought to be delivered in the way they are supposed to be. To allow greater understanding to be delivered from patience, rather than the confused state delivered by the chase leading to a confused perspective contained within the mind. This had taken many initiates more years than they care to remember – including him – to come to terms with this aspect. Because the terms are simply one sided, but very much so for the right reasons. No deal can be struck when the way is set out and cannot be changed through your own will.
In essence it resulted in the denial of free will replaced for the acceptance that what is to occur is out of your control and needs to happen for a greater purpose that at that time might not be understood. The confusion comes from trying to reason the reason instead of allowing reason to come in it’s own way; in it’s own time. Free will allows for pursuance and in this confusion sets in as reason is created not just accepted for what it is or the lack of. The mind will create reason and creates the opposite for the greater gain for one, instead of the greater gain to many – simply to take and not give, the human condition of selfishness against being selfless. In pursuance the objective is to take something. In patience the objective is to accept something as a gift, a gift you can then give to someone else in the knowing the source is pure and not invented.
This as an art is one of the hardest to accept and without doubt is the one that takes the longest time to come to terms with as the terms are already set and cannot be rewritten. Amen realised that his son already had this ability without even knowing it existed and without even being put through the proving grounds. A fact that was undeniable. A fact that was now, staring him in the face. A fact that made him so happy that he started to smile through the emotional pain that was still very much present in him, an occurrence that was not going to escape his son’s attention.
Harian, on seeing the smile erupt on his pain stricken dad’s face – relieving the pain he was suffering for that moment – smiled back with a smile that would light the darkest night. At that very moment in time he saw the immense power of amnesty. He saw his own dad completely forget what was ailing him. He saw his dad happier than he had ever remembered seeing him before and this warmed his heart. And the warmth flowed through him creating a feeling of being in peace and in blissful acknowledgement that everyone could feel this way if the construct they were caught in could be changed for an environment that pursued the matters of the heart and not the lusts of the mind. That all that ails all, could just simply be forgotten if we so chose for that to occur, if the ability to choose differently was removed and replaced with amnesty. Could words be penned in such a way that all would accept who read such words that this is the state of just being without the human condition that hindered us so? To that question the only answer that could be given would be time will tell, but in time the answer would be given without the presumption of the mind to interfere with the answer and maybe the words penned would cause this to occur if that was the way it was meant to be.
Again Harian suddenly realised he had drifted off into what he once would have believed were thoughts, but he realised he was not thinking about this. All that was being delivered was just popping into his head as he smiled at his dad. Sat quietly smiling as his dad was doing. Again his aunts and Sarim’s words came back to him prompting memories it seemed not thoughts. As earlier he was distinguishing the difference, realising that the source was different, even though he did not fully comprehend where the source actually was. And to him now it certainly seemed he was not concerned with what the source was, just enjoying the deliverance of the messages, the memories he was now experiencing. It certainly seemed now that certain questions he had always asked had no relevance anymore and there importance was in some way dismissed. And in essence this certainly allowed for a more peaceful existence it seemed. Coupled with this was an element of non-dismissiveness, which also allowed for a point to be reached where argument could not live. Not to necessarily accepting everything to be true, but at the same time not accepting it is not true. Taking only what was being offered using a moral compass to guide the way to allow deliverance of what was needed and the ousting of was not in a very polite way.
Snapping back to reality he looked at his dad who was still smiling patiently waiting for Harian’s return.
“Sorry dad I was away there for a moment.”
“I know son.” Amen said patiently. “But may I ask where there is?”
Harian smiled with an even broader grin this time and replied.
“That, I cannot tell you, but what I can tell you is, I like being there.”
Amen chuckled to himself as he realised just how far his son had come and said something that was to shock Harian.
“Harian I need to tell you this. If I was half the man you are I would be lucky.”
Silence fell over the pair as Amen said this. Not an awkward silence, but a very pleasurable one – one that Amen and Harian were to enjoy for a few moments, until the door slowly opened and through it walked Isabel and Sarim.
Once inside Isabel couldn’t stop herself from smiling and nor could Sarim as they looked upon the happiness they were greeted with. Isabel spoke and asked.
“Is it ok for us to return?
Both Harian and his dad nodded and Amen said.
“But sister it is your house after all.”
Isabel smiled at her brother and said.
“You know what I mean.”
“I do sister and yes I would like you and Sarim to be party to what I need to say now to Harian, well, as long as Harian is ok with this.
In an instant Harian said.
“Of course I am, we are all family are we not and that does include you general.
Sarim was so taken a back by this at first that the only thing he could do was smile and offer, to make tea.
He knew Harian was at first very suspicious of him and it showed, not only in his voice and the words he chose to use, but was most evident in his body language the one thing Harian could not hide. That was an art that had to be mastered, but before that could be achieved you had to know it existed. You had to know you could communicate in that way. Although many realised that we do communicate via this method, they could not obtain the ability to be able to conceal it. Being in the position Sarim occupied it was essential he could use this ability; otherwise his earthly experience would have ended in an instance. This had caught many out over the years because they just could not master it and they had paid the price for this.
Isabel quipped, grinning from ear to ear.
“YOU are making tea are you, have all my birthday’s come at once?”
“Yes possibly, and you should be overwhelmed having a General make you tea my lady.” Sarim said chuckling as he did.
Both Harian and Amen were chuckling as well, even though somehow Harian realised this was for his benefit.
“Now, now old boy.” Quipped Isabel “No use of Status here and you know it means absolutely everything, if everything means absolutely nothing.”
Sarim chuckled even deeper and realised he had better just make the tea and shut up. He had been with Isabel for long enough to know this was only going to end one way and only in the old girls favour.
“Well old girl you’ve got me.”
“Less of the girl, I am a lady don’t you know.” And with this Isabel stuck her nose in the air to show an act of pompousness highlighting her own self-importance.
Amen was now chuckling quite loudly as he had seen displays like this before and so was Harian who had never witnessed such. Harian also realised for who the turn was intended and for what reason.
After making fresh tea and having a quick cuddle with the women he loved, Sarim joined the others at the table and sat quietly as Isabel and Harian did, waiting for Amen to talk.
After a small sip of the steaming hot tea, which was a bad mistake that he suggested was to the humour of the others at being such a fool for trying. Amen continued to speak to Harian turning to face him as he did.
“Son, during your life I have made you endure things that were most of the time things you would rather not have endure and I am sure you can see how remorseful I am about this. I would now like to ask you a question regarding this if I may and please accept I am not trying exonerate myself for what I have done in anyway, but at least this will give you a greater understanding why this happened. May I ask you a question?”
“Of course you can dad, but before you do may I say you have nothing to be exonerated for in my eyes. I now appreciate that you did what you needed to do even though I am not yet aware of why, but I know now it must have been for good reason, otherwise today and the happenings of today would not be occurring.”
Amen, to say the least, was very pleased to here his son say this as it meant his was ready to receive what his he had to tell him.
“Harian throughout your life I have made you do things against your will and I suppose making you join the army was possibly the worst, although I suppose there are many that come a close runner up to this. My question is this. At anytime through these numerous experiences, as horrendous as some were, did you ever adopt the ways and methods of those around you for whatever reason?”
Harian need no time to think about the answer he was to give and spoke straight a way.
“Only once dad and that was when I pretended to adopt the ways of the school you sent me too and I tried to do well to make you happy. But even though I did this I could not adopt there ways, I just could not do it.”
“Thank you for being honest Harian and telling me this, although I knew what you were doing I would like to tell you how much I respected you for that and that is why I made the comment I did a few moments ago. In truth you have never adopted the ways of anyone or anything that is wrong have you?”
“No dad I suppose I haven’t.”
“No son I know you never have and I also know you never will and that is why I had to do what I did to make sure you could not be coerced. And as hard as that was to do and as painful as it was to see you so unhappy, I had to do it. You my son, have a purpose and one that you have been preparing for all your life as you too my son are born of order. And at this point in time you now are faced with a choice and this choice is for you alone to make. No matter what way you choose to go, no one including me will try to make you decide differently, nor will we try to get you to change your decision. All your life has been leading up to this one choice and I ask of you know is this something you would like to hear about?”
Harian sat for moment taking in what his dad had said as in honesty it sounded ludicrous, but no more ludicrous than finding out the general was a double agent, his aunt was also involved in mysterious things and so was his father. Harian reverted back to the moral compass he was now getting used to using and he was also studying his dad’s body language and he could see that his dad was sincere and he could tell that his dad was telling him the truth. Then out of nowhere he had a question that he needed an answer for and he asked the question.
“Dad, you know my predicament so how can I be of any help to anyone – how can I fulfil any purpose in this predicament?”
“You are in this predicament for a reason and that reason will ensure you can fulfil that purpose.”
Harian, still a little confused suddenly realised what his dad was saying and realised this is why Sarim was here and asked as such turning away from his dad to face the general.
“General, this is to do with you isn’t it?”
“Yes Harian it most certainly is my boy.
Turning back to face his dad Harian spoke again.
“OK dad, I am very willing to listen, a little stunned I might add, but still willing to listen.”
“I have but one thing more to ask of you my son and that is please understand that if you choose yes, then you will be taking a oath, making a promise that you cannot go back on, because if you commit to this, then your heart will never allow you too go back on the oath you have taken. This has nothing to do with your mind and as much as it will fight to prevent you fulfilling your purpose, your heart will always lead you back to that purpose you must serve. Because my son this is about servitude, not just to the people you belong too, but all your brothers and sisters across this planet, which means humanity on whole. Do you understand what I have just said to you, do really understand?”
Harian sat quietly contemplating all his dad had just said to him. Looking away from his dad he first looked at his aunt and then towards the general. Both of them were smiling at him, but not just with their mouths, but also they’re with their eyes. Eyes that shone like stars in the night sky and he then realised that this was something he must listen too and not only listen too, but agree to as well, even though at that time he had no knowledge of what was to be asked of him. Changing the direction he was looking in he then focused on his cup. Picking it up he then proceeded to take a small sip out of it placing it back down on the table, only to adjust it’s position slightly before letting it alone. He realised he did this and that was then when he realised that he would not be asked to do anything that would be against what he held dear. He knew he would say yes and make oath to affect. Turning to his dad and speaking in a calm voice he said.
“Yes dad I am willing to listen and I fully understand the implications of the decision I am about to make.”
Smiling from his heart, Amen spoke.
“My dearest son we now ask of you that you will join the palace guard as you need to be close to our king. In a time soon upon us a civil war will rage in this land and you, the king and many others will leave here for a far away distant land where for a time we can all live in peace. Your purpose Harian is to become the king’s companion, his friend. For our king Akhenaten also has a purpose one he does not realise yet, but soon will. He needs you to complete this purpose and in doing so you will complete yours.”
All most instantly Harian found an objection and one that meant a great deal to him and he voiced it.
“But dad, if I join the palace guard there will come a time surely when I would have to take life, or at least injure it and I cannot do that, I will not do that.”
At this point Amen was to let Sarim speak and he did.
“Harian dear boy, I give you my word on my life that you will never have to do that. I promise you this will not come about. The only way we can get you near enough to the king is by this method. And through occurrences being engineered from within the palace walls, you will be, but only if you accept.”
Silence fell upon the room as Sarim finished speaking and al eyes fell from Harian, even his fathers to ensure no pressure was applied. Harian spoke after a while saying.
“But I am a wanted man how could this even be possible?”
Sarim answered the question Harian had posed.
“To be honest is the only place they will never look for you as they have no interest in any of the palace guards as they too are seen as inferior to the rest of the army. That is why they are employed to protect the king. So if the families and the priest class decided they want rid of the king, they know the force protecting him is weak, well at least they think it is. As I have said it is bar far the safest place for you and it certainly serves the purposes needed to be served. Know as well dear boy a place commander is one of my dearest friends and in truth arrangements have already been made.”
At much as Harian did not trust the general at first he did now and knew he was telling the truth. He knew this of everyone in the room with him and through this realised that he needed to do this, because deep down his heart was telling him that the moral compass had been set. From what the general had said he realised he would not be made to do anything that would involve the harm of another. But on the same hand there were so many questions he needed to ask. He explained.
“I am so confused. Leaving Egypt, civil war and friends with the KING it sounds ludicrous, but at the same time it makes sense because I know you are all telling me the truth. I need some time to rationalize this, I need to think.”
Isabel could see the confusion in Harian’s mind and spoke to comfort her nephew.
“Harian all we have talked about this day all we have shared was from our hearts. The confusion you are now experiencing is your mind playing tricks on you, because this is simply about change and the mind uses this as a weapon against you. In effect you are doing this to yourself, because you are in control of your own mind if you allow yourself to be. I know my dearest boy that it is easier said than done, but it can be done, you achieved this today. The purpose you will serve, I cannot explain to you how important it is and how important it is for you to feel this is the right thing to do, not to think it is, to feel it is, to know it is. You know how much I love you, you know I would never put you in harms way and you this to make a decision on what you know and not what you think.”
Harian looked at his aunt and said.
“I love you too aunt and thank you for everything and too you general and too you dad thank you for being honest with me.”
Harian looked at them in turn as he said this and then he sat and looked at the table for a moment quietly.
Isabel spoke again.
“Harian please appreciate we know you need time to make such a decision and that time will be allotted and as much as you need. We fully appreciate the extent of what has been said to you and asked of you this day and realise….
Before Isabel could finish she stopped in mid sentence as she and the others could see a smile on Harian’s mouth and also as he looked up his eyes sparkled with excitement. Harian had put to one side the confusion that was his mind and allowed his heart to glow and in doing so needed no time to decide, he had made his decision and was committed to it. He spoke.
“Although I am very nervous about this and filled with anticipation I have decided that I will do this and I will become what I am meant to become.”
“And this is your final word on this regarding the decision you have just made?
“It is.” Replied Harian.
“And you fully understand what I said to you and the implications.” Asked Amen.
“I do dad, yes I do. Replied Harian.
“Then let it be so.” Amen said grinning from ear to ear and he was not the only one. Hands stretched out they all met in the middle of the table and held each other tightly. The sign was made x and the purpose was to be fulfilled.
A short while later Isabel spoke.
“Please realise Harian that later tonight under the cover of darkness you must leave for the palace, is this acceptable too you?”
“Yes aunt it is.”
“That is excellent and you will accompanied by your dad and Sarim and a few friends that will meet you along the way. But in the meantime you sit and talk to your dad as you still have much too discuss if you want that is and me and the old man will rustle up some food for us all.”
Sarim was listening and came over from talking to Amen and put his arm around Isabel’s waist saying as he did.
“I might be old, but I still know my way round a kitchen.”
Isabel smiled and the pair of them set off talking to each other, laughing and joking as they did. Harian turned and made his way over to his dad who was no sat back at the table. He stood up to greet his son and placed his hand on the side of his cheek affectionately as his son approached.
Together they sat down and began to speak to each other.
“The king, he is a tyrant isn’t he dad – how do you make friends with a tyrant?”
“He may have been son, but that has changed and he has a very special purpose that he most probably is not aware of yet, but he soon will be. He was coerced Harian from a very early age by the priests and the holders of all religion, but he has started to see through this and it is getting stronger in him.”
“How do you know all this dad?”
“We have our ways son, we have our ways, like your aunt and the general would have explained to you we are everywhere and we are amongst everyone, that is our purpose.”
“But still the king?” Harian said shaking his head.
“I know son you will get used to it.”
“But seriously dad how can the king help anyone he is wrapped up in self-importance, pomp and circumstance and the power trip that is his position. How can he possibly help anyone?”
“Because very soon son he will realise what holding that position really means, he will realise the concept of true kingship and the building of law that is common to all without exception. And in doing so he will realise he can never be this, but one day he will help a king become a true king who will do this and that king will set humanity free and that will truly be the fall of slavery. The end of humanities enslavement to a concept our king will be blamed for creating – monotheism.
Our king Harian is a Sion and I know this means nothing to you now and it won’t for sometime, but in time I will explain it to you. I will explain how important it is and also what the last Sion will be capable of, because the last Sion will rid the world of religion for once and for all and humanities enslavement to all it’s mechanisms for all time.”